"The depreciation of dreams is an existential epidemic." Oh ain't that the truth, Nandi! We are trained for restlessness, not for presence. It is drilled into our neuropathways, and requires intense moment by moment unlearning (intensity and presence - oxymorons). Babies force that upon us, and it brings up our anger, our resentment and irritability. It brings us down to small when our ego minds blend with our genuine ambition calling us to go big. It challenges our greed and longing (are you a type 4 on the enneagram?). It asks us to look at the hole in us that only SEEMS like it will be filled with BIG living. It's all the sound of one hand clapping if you ask me. And the baby just keeps needing and needing and needing. Oh I remember that time. Love and hate of motherhood. Such a test of patience, stamina, our capacity for boredom and staying present to the small (yet enormous) changes. Anyway...thanks for your writing as always. I adore how you describe the meadow. I wish I could remember all the names of all the plants as you do Nandi. Miss you!
Thank you, Anni - I so appreciate these validating and affirming reflections! It is indeed a potent time for learning patience and recalibrating our sense of how we meaningfully organize / orient our days. So much tremendous, unparalleled growth in this time, which belies the smallness ❤️❤️❤️
"The depreciation of dreams is an existential epidemic." Oh ain't that the truth, Nandi! We are trained for restlessness, not for presence. It is drilled into our neuropathways, and requires intense moment by moment unlearning (intensity and presence - oxymorons). Babies force that upon us, and it brings up our anger, our resentment and irritability. It brings us down to small when our ego minds blend with our genuine ambition calling us to go big. It challenges our greed and longing (are you a type 4 on the enneagram?). It asks us to look at the hole in us that only SEEMS like it will be filled with BIG living. It's all the sound of one hand clapping if you ask me. And the baby just keeps needing and needing and needing. Oh I remember that time. Love and hate of motherhood. Such a test of patience, stamina, our capacity for boredom and staying present to the small (yet enormous) changes. Anyway...thanks for your writing as always. I adore how you describe the meadow. I wish I could remember all the names of all the plants as you do Nandi. Miss you!
Thank you, Anni - I so appreciate these validating and affirming reflections! It is indeed a potent time for learning patience and recalibrating our sense of how we meaningfully organize / orient our days. So much tremendous, unparalleled growth in this time, which belies the smallness ❤️❤️❤️